It’s been almost 2 months since I last even looked at my blog.
I wasn’t going to even write this post, I was just going to jump back in, but I felt that there should be some explanation of where I’ve been.
And to sum it up; I fell apart in a BIG way right before Christmas.
I was being pulled in about 5 million directions and I SNAPPED. Everything was suffering, and I found myself having some pretty severe panic/anxiety attacks. I was crying at home, I was crying at work, I wasn’t sleeping, etc etc.
One morning I was planning on walking into work and quitting, effective immediately…and as I was putting on my jacket and grabbing my keys I had a moment of clarity and was like “Woah wait, what am I doing?! This is CRAZY..I love my job..maybe not today..but I LOVE my job..CALL THE DR instead!”. So I did, and by the afternoon, I was ready to start picking up the pieces.
It’s been about a month and a half since that visit, and I wish that I could say that I feel better..but I know that I am getting there. I look back at how it took a lot of help and medication to get through a visit to the passport office, or how it took TWO doses of anxiety meds just to get through a 5-hour shift at work, and then another to sleep through the night. It felt like every time I turned around something was triggering panic. But in the last week, I have only needed one! So I can see the progress and it makes me feel good! I managed to have 2 really strong days in a row where I kicked some serious butt cleaning and cooking and just being present. I felt human again.
So now, here I am…slowly getting back into the swing of things..to my ohmmade kinda life!
Still with me?